Thursday, February 08, 2007

ahhh. i need to work out man. my legs never used to be so flabby.

i have been sick sick and more sick. someone can pity me man. as of yesterday. i had a 38.6 fever [no samuel it is not a radio channel lol], a cough and flu caused by inflammed organs of which i do not know how to spell [sinus and tonsils, did i get them right] the sinus is really so bad i start tearing for no reason. the on top of that i have spliting headaches and my head hurts everytime i cough or sneeze. and just to emphasize the fact my physical state is crap. i sprained my ankle. wad a way to spend a week. in bed in bed and in bed.

sigh. yesterday plus today i think i slept like 26 hours. haha.

still had to deal with accusations that i suck at my occupation. [wadever that means]

which makes me wonder if my trip to more than words and spending 9.90 was worth the time and money despite my condition.

anyway. i think the new worship song rocks. especially the to whom will i go, theres no one else but You alone part.

just feel quite shi bai somethings. darn scared or darryl's messages, cus i know i wont be able to go and i feel really bad about it. its like i love this ministry, its people and its vission and even thou i feel that i m really not inclined at all and i m really a slow learner in this aspect, just felt that i m not really called there and joining it has been a great experience but i feel i cant maximize myself there. thou sometimes i keep telling myself i wanna give it my all, makes me wonder if i m running to a brick wall. sometimes i feel like i shud let go of it for the moment cus i m taking up an extra space and i m not serving like i would like to.

and honestly speaking, looking at the stuff on ur tagboard, i think everything is great, i think the person hu typed is really nice and really great, but despite all that, have u actually done anything about it?? is it not something that u having been a believer for so long cannot read and realise urself if u actually want to. the whole world aint take u and lift u up on a sedan chair, u have have to learn to pick urself up. u have to know that where u run to, u said urself u ll get tired and u ll still have to choose in the end. if i were u, i wouldnt run, i d sit down and think. cus running aways means u make a choice when u finally cant run anymore, when u have no choice but to turn back. but thinking changes it all. so why do u keep running away when u know it always ends up the same. doesnt make sense. its like eating from the same stall all the time even thou u know the foods gonna give u a stomachache...for crying out loud! try another stall, a stall thats gonna make u healthy, a stall thats gonna make u the person i used to know!

well. at least be honoured, u got the longest para in todays blog.

|cowpoo| 10:16 PM|

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